LifeStyle

Opening the Doors to Healthier and Stress-Free Living

Chances are we all know at least one person who tells us: "I felt depressed so I went out and shopped all day."

Unfortunately, folks who do shop when undergoing some type of duress put themselves into deeper emotional turmoil by going out and spending money. Some folks feel that if they go out and buy items, they will receive gratification very quickly. Yet, the gratification is usually short lived and the emotions that spurred the shopping occur again and are often worse. Particularly for those persons who are already in debt and for whom money is tight, buying more items just produce more debt.

Author Ruth Engs makes the following observations:

For some reason shopping addiction tends to affect more women than men; women often buy things they do not need.

Compulsive shopping is related to anxiety rather than depression. The compulsive shopper spends money to lower anxiety levels. It is important to find out what causes the person’s anxiety. One major cause could be in the person’s past and may involve denial of material possessions. Now the person overcompensates for fear that there will not be enough.

Another reason could be worry over the opinions of others; in other words, one feels worthwhile only if others approve of him or her via his or her material possessions.

Still others try to fill emotional voids by fulfilling themselves by purchasing desirable things. This creates the illusion of success and happiness. Unfortunately, "the joy is short-lived and is no substitute for the enjoyment that other values -- friendship, romantic fulfillment, career fulfillment -- could offer," (The Living Resource Center).

• Shopping or spending money as a result of being disappointed, angry or scared.
• Shopping for a "pick-me-up." Shoppers go out and buy, to get a high, or get a "rush" just like a drug or alcohol addict.
• Binge shopping during the year, including compulsive buying of certain items, such as shoes, kitchen items or clothing.
• Shopping/spending habits causing emotional distress or chaos in one’s life.
• Having arguments with others regarding shopping or spending habits.
• Feeling lost without credit cards.
• Buying items on credit that would not be bought with cash.
• Spending money causes a rush of euphoria and anxiety at the same time.
• Spending or shopping feels like a reckless or forbidden act.
• Feeling guilty, ashamed, embarrassed or confused after shopping or spending money. Many purchases are never used.
• Lying to others about what was bought or how much money was spent.
• Thinking excessively about money.
• Spending a lot of time juggling accounts and bills to accommodate spending.

• Shopping addiction tends to affect more women than men, although not exclusively. Such folks often buy things they do not need.
• Holiday seasons can trigger shopping binges among those who are not compulsive the rest of the year.
• Women with this compulsive disorder often have racks of clothes and possessions with the price tags still attached which have never been used.
• Shoppers will go to a shopping mall with the intention of buying one or two items and come home with bags and bags of purchases. In some cases shopololics have an emotional "black out" and do not remember even buying the articles.
• If family or friends begin to complain about their purchases, shoppers will often hide the things they buy. They are often in denial about the problem.
• Because some people cannot pay their bills, their credit rating suffers. Collection agencies attempt to get what is owed, causing legal, social and relationship problems. Shoppers sometimes attempt to hide their problem by taking on an extra job to pay for bills (Engs, The Living Resource Center).

(Four or more of the above may indicate a possible problem with shopping or spending)

One can prevent shopping binges by doing the following:

• Pay for purchases by cash or check.
• Make a shopping list and only buy what is on the list.
• Destroy all credit cards except one to be used for emergencies only.
• Avoid discount warehouses. Allocate only a certain amount of cash to be spent if you do visit one.
• "Window shop" only after stores have closed. If you do "look" during the day, leave your wallet at home.
• Avoid phoning in catalog orders and don't watch TV shopping channels.
• If you're traveling to visit friends or relatives, have your gifts wrapped and call the project finished; people tend to make more extraneous purchases when they shop outside their own communities.
• Take a walk or exercise when the urge to shop comes on. Chances are the urge will pass when one gets his or her mind on something else.
• If you feel out of control, you probably are. Seek counseling or a support group (Engs)

If the previous list does not help, the following are suggestions for further assistance:

• Seek professional counseling or support group to deal with the problem
• Credit counseling centers will also help with shopoholism.

Buying or wanting material possessions isn’t unhealthy, unless it excessive, for the wrong reasons, and if it takes away from the other aspects of life such as children, friendships, romance, career, etc. One’s material possessions need to be a consequence, rather than a first cause. In other words: A person needs to buy because one is already happy, and wish to celebrate -- not buy in order to make oneself happy (The Living Resource Center).

Engs, Ruth. "How can I manage compulsive shopping and spending (Shopoholism)".
http://www.indiana.edu/~engs/hints/shop.html

The Living Resources Center. "Compulsive shopping."
http://www.drhurd.com/ask/compulsive-shopping.html

Supervisor's Guide: Compulsive Spending/Shopping
http://www.addictionrecov.org/wrkguide_shop.htm